Week 8: The Return of the Points

If you want the title reference to be for "The Return of the Mack", "The Return of the Jedi", or "The Return of the King", I'll leave that up to you. Either way, it was good for there to be an abundance of points again. 

Game Recaps

Skyler vs Matt:  This was the weekly blowout as well as the weekly bonanza.  A lot of that has to do with Matt being the highest scorer of the week, but it didn't hurt that Skyler (the 8th highest team) was closer to the 2nd highest scorer (Rob), than 12th highest scorer this week (Brady). This week was top-heavy -- Skyler actually had the highest scorer in the matchup with Bo Nix scoring 35, but he had no one else score 20+.  On the other hand, Matt didn't have anyone score 30+, but he had 5 players score 20+ (Goff, Cook, Chase, Harrison, and Otton).  Skyler had 4 single-digit scorers, and Matt had 2, while Skyler had 1 in the 5 and under club, with Matt having 0.

Trevor vs Jordan: Jordan led wire-to-wire, and beat Trevor by a respectable ~25 points. Each team had two 20+ point scorers -- Jordan had Murray and Jacobs, and Trevor had Tracy and McBride. The big difference in this game came from Trevor having 5 players scoring single digits, while Jordan only had 1 of them.

Tommy vs Rob:  Rob started out hot on Thursday and led wire-to-wire. He had 5 players score 20+ points (Darnold, Kyren, Gibbs, Devonta, and Kelce), while Tommy only had Kyle Pitts join that club.  Tommy had 3 players score single digits, while Rob had 2. This was a big win for Rob as both teams had only won one game all season, and Rob was ranked 12th while Tommy was ranked 11th.  With the win, Rob has moved all the way up to 11th, and Tommy has dropped to 12th.  And even with those glowing endorsements, this was not the battle of ineptitude.

Brandon vs TJ:  TJ's reign as King of the Court came to an uneventful end.  Brandon was only the 7th leading scorer, but TJ's team laid a goose egg as they were the 2nd lowest-scoring team this week. Despite being the new King, King Henry wasn't as big of a factor as he failed to score 20+, and had his worst week since week 1.  Thankfully, Brandon had Mayfield and Achane go for 20+, while TJ didn't have anyone in that group. Both teams had 4 players in the single-digit group.  Despite both teams being in the bottom half of scoring, this was not the battle of ineptitude

Scott vs Tyler: This was the only game decided by single digits this week, so it receives the coveted nail-biter of the week award.  By default, it was also the nightly nail-biter as Scott's RB (Harris) was playing on MNF and was trying to drag his team to the come-from-behind victory.  Sadly (for Scott anyway), he could not, and Tyler held onto the win. Scott had two people in the 20+ point club (Hurts and CD), and they were actually both in the 30+ point tier.  Tyler had three players score 20+ (Lamar, Mixon, and Bijan).  Tyler took a commanding lead Sunday afternoon, and I had assumed the game was over, but then Ceedee Lamb went off on SNF to give Scott an outside chance of pulling off the comeback with Najee on MNF.  This game was less than 10 points off of the weekly bonanza and was the game of the week thanks to the amount of points, how close it was, and how it was still up for grabs on MNF.

Brady vs Kyle: Finally, we have the battle of ineptitude. Brady was the lowest scorer this week, with the next highest scorer being 15 points higher. Kyle was the 6th highest scorer, which wasn't enough to drag this matchup out of ineptitude. Kyle got the win thanks to a season-high score from Mahomes (22 points), who was the only 20+ point member of this matchup.  Can we talk about just how bad he has been this year from a fantasy football perspective?  It makes no sense.  I suppose the Chiefs don't need him to be otherworldly with the defense that they have, which is a good thing given his WR are all bad or hurt.  Kyle's 4th highest scorer (the Steelers DST), was less than a point behind Brady's highest scorer. This wasn't the only reason he lost, but Brady was certainly held back thanks to Love and Mason leaving the game early due to injuries. Brady had 5 players score single digits, while Kyle only had 2.

Award Season

King of the Court: Brandon

King of the Course: Back due to (semi) popular demand, King of the Course gets Tommy a shoutout this week.

Highest Scorer of the Week: Matt

Lowest Scorer of the Week: Brady

Luckiest Team of the Week:  Brandon was the lowest-scoring winner, so he'll win the award this week.  He was 7th highest though, so it's not like it was a large amount of luck.

Unluckiest Team of the Week: The unluckiest team of the season is the unluckiest team of the week as Scott was the 4th highest scorer, but he played the 3rd highest scorer.

MVP: Tyler won thanks to the Lamar/Andrews stack -- Lamar's passing TD to Mark Andrews was the big play that ended up getting Tyler the win.

LVP: Amari Cooper's second game with the Bills meant more playing time, but much less production, and in a close game, Scott needed every point he could have gotten out of the extra Amari playing time.

Game Previews

Skyler (4) vs Rob (11): Skyler has 0 players on Thursday night and 5 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Rob has 1 player on Thursday night and 3 players in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. 

Matt (3) vs Tommy (12): Matt has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Tommy has 1 player on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. 

TJ (2) vs Trevor (6): TJ has 0 players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime.  He has 0 players on bye. Trevor has 1 player on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye, but CMC hasn't taken a snap all year, so does he really count?

Jordan (1) vs Brandon (9): Jordan has 3 players on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye. Brandon has 0 players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime. He has 2 players on bye.

Tyler (10) vs Brady (5): Tyler has one player on Thursday night and one player in primetime. He has one player on bye. Brady has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye.

Kyle (7) vs Scott (8): Kyle has 0 players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Scott has 1 player on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. 

Good luck to everyone but Rob this week, and Happy Halloween to all of you, even Rob, tonight.

Week 7: We're half way there...

...and a lot of teams are living on a prayer.  It was another ugly week with low scores for teams, low passing yards, and I read on social media (so you know it's true) that this was the lowest #1 WR for the week score maybe ever (Amon-Ra St. Brown was the highest WR with 25.2 points).  If you look at the breakdown, only 4 teams in the league have an overall winning record.  I keep thinking this season will turn around and get better, but maybe we're just in for a wild ride all year long?

Game Recaps

Skyler vs Kyle: This was an ugly game and clearly the battle of ineptitude, though this week was the week of ineptitude.  There were 3 teams who scored under 100 this week (and Tommy only got 100.14 if you want to say there were 4 bad teams this week),  and this was the only matchup that featured two of them. Skyler got the win thanks to his 3 players who scored 20+ (Aaron Jones, Justin Jefferson, and the Philly DST). Kyle had no players score 20+. Skyler had had 5 players in single digits, and Kyle had 6.  We've already spent more time on this game than we should have.

Brandon vs Brady: I prewrote the blog because I had the time, and then the fantasy gods laughed at me and this game happened.  This was a crazy game, yet would have been the battle of ineptitude if not for Skyler and Kyle.  This game had an amazing comeback on MNF thanks to some big players and some bad coaching.  In the end, Baker and King Henry dragged Brandon to the lead, while the Chargers DST tried to give it back to Brady. This was the weekly and nightly nail biter, as well as the Monday Nightmare/Miracle. Each team had two players score 20+ (the aforementioned Baker and the King for Brandon, and Love and the Sun God for Brady). Brandon had one of his players actually go for 30+, and he only had 4 single digit scorers compared to Brady's 6.

Scott vs Trevor: Trevor had a chance to join Skyler and Brady in the 5-2 club, and make league history this year by having a 2 game difference between the 6 and 7 seeds this early in the season (I decided to leave this section as a reminder that history was on the line, but Trevor and Brady didn't come through).  Scott had other plans, and with his win, he will jump over Kyle to the 7 seed and is now only 1 game back of 6 seed Brady. It's probably too early to put too much importance on playoff positioning, but this win has Scott 1 game out of the playoffs instead of 3 games out (if he had lost to Trevor [and if Brady had won]). It is a little bit surprising that Scott got the win given how few 20+ point games he had (only Jalen Hurts) compared to Trevor, who had three 20+ point scorers (Geno, Breece, and BTJ).  It helped that on the low end, Trevor's guys really let him down, whereas Scott's Tot's only kind of let him down (aka Davante Adams being bad in his Jets debut) .

Jordan vs Matt:  Matt has been roughed up the last two weeks, and in his defense, he has had the hardest schedule. Not in Matt's defense, he is averaging around 102 points per game the last two games. The beatdown of the week was brought to you by the number 4 and the letter N.  Jordan had 4 guys score 20+ points (Barkley, Jacobs, Pickens, and the Washington DST), and the Jets DST had Negative points for Matt. Matt did have 1 player score 20+ points (Goff), so we should give him his flower for that -- not flowers though, because he doesn't deserve more than one flower. Despite Matt's best efforts to suck, Jordan made this the bonanza with his offensive explosion.

TJ vs Rob: In lieu of writing something crazy just to see if TJ will post what I wrote to social media (with all my bad typos and awkward writing in general) 3 weeks in a row, I'll keep this a little more simple. Rob was the highest-scoring loser, and TJ was one of the better winners.  Going into this week, 4 teams had scored between 600-699, 7 teams had scored between 700-799 (5 of those under 712), and only TJ had scored over 800 points. After this week, TJ is the first (and only) team to 900 points on the season.  That was made possible this game due to 2 players being the 20+ point club (Walker [not Texas Ranger], and Bigsby [not Clayton]). Rob had 1 guy in said 20+ club, and he actually was a 30+ point scorer (Gibbs), but it wasn't enough to overcome TJ.  Rob was done in by having his bottom 3 players combine for 2.8 points, though TJ's bottom 3 weren't stellar either, and only scored 9 -- but in a game decided by less than 8 points, even the scrubs matter.

Tommy vs Tyler: In one of the weirder matchups this week, Tommy's K and DST combined for 40, but Tyler's combined for 30.  Unfortunately for Tommy, those were his two best players, and only the Broncos DST scored over 20+ for him.  Tyler had a really bad week from his 49ers WRs (combined for 4.3), but he did have 3other players score 20+ (Mixon, Bijan, and Lamar). In unfortunate news for Tyler, Aiyuk will be out for the year, and Jerome Ford may have lost his job with Nick Chubb coming back. This was the only matchup of 1-5 teams (there were 4 of them going into this week), so one of them had to win.  The other 2 lost, and will go to 1-6 with Tommy, which means Tyler goes from 12th to 10th.  It's not a lot, but you have to start somewhere.

Award Season

MVP: Baker for getting the win for Brandon in garbage time

LVP: I wanted to give it to someone on Brady's team, but so many of his people played hurt, and that feels dirty.  I was thinking Jordan Mason, but he actually has the most rush yards against the Chiefs this season.  So sadly, I will go back to the injured (or kind of injured) Montgomery since his injury didn't knock him out, and it was by far his worst game of the season.

Unluckiest Team of the Week: Rob was the highest-scoring loser, so I was going to give it to him, until Brady lost in the fashion he did.

Luckiest Team of the Week: Skyler didn't break 100 and still won.

Highest Scorer of the Week: Dr. (50 shades of) Gray

Lowest Scorer of the Week: Kyle

King of the Court: Early on, Rob was projected to win, but TJ managed to beat projections and hold onto his crown.

Game Previews

Skyler (4) vs Matt (3): Skyler has 3 players on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Matt has 0 players on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. 

Trevor (6) vs Jordan (2): Trevor has 0 players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Jordan has 1 player on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye.

Tommy (11) vs Rob (12): Tommy has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Rob has 2 players on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Given their rankings, this has the potential to be the battle of ineptitude.

Brandon (9) vs TJ (1): Brandon has 1 player on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime. He has no players on bye. TJ has 0 players on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. He has no players on bye.

Scott (7) vs Tyler (10): Scott has 0 players on Thursday night and 3 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Tyler has 0 players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. 

Brady (5) vs Kyle (8): Brady has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Kyle has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. 

Mid Year Awards

MVP: Brock Bowers was an 8th round draft pick, and has been the best TE on the season, helping TJ to the best record and most points so far.

LVP: Can't Run CMC -- We all have the same number of points as the #1 draft pick this year

Unluckiest Team of the Season: Based on points for and the breakdown scores, Scott should be a playoff team instead of outside the playoffs.

Luckiest Team of the Season: Based on points for and the breakdown scores, Skyler should be a bottom-three team, not a top 4 team.

Highest Scorer of the Season: TJ

Lowest Scorer of the Season: Tyler

Good luck to everyone but Matt this week!

Week 6: A Strong Middle Class

I had no great title or overarching theme for this week, so I went with a mediocre observation -- the teams that were ranked 5-9 before the week started didn't change at all in their rankings after the games went final. That won't be the case this next week though as 6 plays 7, and 5 plays 8.

As part of writing the blog, I looked through the write up for week 6 last (so I can copy and paste the game preview template), and I realized that in weeks 5 and 6 last year I talked about how many injuries were occurring.  Given last year and this year, it seems weeks 5 and 6 are the cursed weeks.

Game Recaps

Skyler vs Tyler: This was the second closest game of the week, and it came down to MNF.  Aaron Rodgers did enough to drop the Bills DST down and get Skyler the win.  Going back to the unexpected theme of a strong middle class, Tyler had 4 guys score 20+ points (Lamar, Mixon, Bijan, Deebo) compared to Skyler only have 1 (Daniels). Given the top heavy nature of Tyler's team, it would have been safe to assume he would have won, but Tyler was let down by 5 players in single digits, 3 of whom were 5 and under.  Skyler only had 2 guys in double digits, and only one of them was 5 and under.

Kyle vs Tommy: What a game! It was the 3rd highest scoring game of the week, and it was decided by less than a point on MNF aka Monday Nightmare/Miracle and Nightly/Weekly Nailbiter.  What was fun for the rest of us must have been agony for Kyle and Tommy, so thank you gentleman for the entertainment. In one of the flukier things I have ever seen, each team had a player end with negative points (neither of them DST's).  Tommy had 3 guys score 20+ (Stroud, Swift, and Scary Terry), while Kyle only had Fields, yet it was Kyle's middle class of guys who got him the win.  This middle class thing I made up at the start is now paying dividends two matchups in.  Let's see how it continues.

Matt vs TJ: In preparation for the matchup of the top two teams, there was a media event similar to boxing.  As they were staring each other down, Matt blinked first, and then decided to fall to the ground and get in the fetal position.  Surprised by this show of weakness, TJ decided to stomp on him repeatedly until he got Matt right in the bladder, causing him to wet himself while crying. Afterwards, a reporter asked what happened, and TJ's only response was "If you come at the King, you best not miss". Maybe that's not what really happened, but when you are the number 1 team on the season and then you are the second lowest scorer of the week and you were on the losing end of the weekly blow out, I feel I get to take creative liberties in describing what happened. TJ didn't quite lead wire to wire, but he got a lead by the end of Thursday night and never looked back. TJ had 2 people score 20+ (KW3 and Flowers), while Matt only had 1 pass the 20 threshold in Goff.  In Goff's defense, he actually got 30+, but the rest of his team was lacking.

Rob vs Jordan: This was the first of 3 games that was decided by 15-25 points -- right in the sweet spot of not agonizingly close where you wish you had started someone else, but not far enough apart that it's embarrassing. That being said, Rob still has to be pretty salty that in a game where the Cowboys were down the entire time, Dak had his worst game in yards and TD's to combine for his worst game of the season.  Overall, this game was a bit of a let down as it was the battle of ineptitude and featured two of the bottom four scorer's.  Rob had 0 people score 20+ points, and Jordan only had 2 in that group (Wilson and Kmet). Rob actually had more people score double digits than Jordan did (6 to 5) but he also had more people score 5 and under (3) than Jordan (0).

Trevor vs Brady: Trevor is finally on the winning side of when 2 of the top 3 teams play each other. This was the weekly bonanza, and was pretty close through the early games with a couple of score changes early on.  Trevor was able to put it away in primetime behind Tracy and Hall running wild when it mattered most as they both scored 20+ this week.  Not to be outdone, Caleb Williams went for 36, and managed to outduel Jordan Love on Brady's side, who went for 33. Brady also had Monty and the Sun God join the 20+ point club.  Neither team had anyone score under 5 points.  Brady did have 3 people in the single digits, while Trevor only had 1. Unfortunately for Brady, Mike Evans played the Saints (his Kryptonite) and Mason got hurt. As great as this bonanza was, I feel like we were robbed of an all-time classic with Mason and Evans underperforming.

Brandon vs Scott: In the surprise of the week, 12th place Brandon and 8th place Scott were 2nd place in the bonanza standings, and were the 3rd closest matchup of the week. Each team had someone score 30+ (Baker for Brandon, and Purdy and Godwin for Scott), and they had an additional 4 players combined score 20+ (3 for Brandon -- Henry, Allen, and Kittle, and 1 for Scott -- Najee).  Scott's demise came from 5 players scoring single digits, while Brandon only had 2.

Award Season

MVP:

LVP:

Unluckiest Team of the Week: Should it go to Brady, for being the 3rd highest scorer and losing? Yes.  Could it also go to Scott, for being the 5th highest scorer and losing? Yes. But will it go to Tommy, who lost on MNF because Kincaid had a season-high total in catches and yards? Yes

Luckiest Team of the Week: Jordan only could have won against 3 teams this week, and he was lucky enough to play one of them.

Highest Scorer of the Week: Dr. T-Rev

Lowest Scorer of the Week: Rob

King of the Court: It's still TJ, but let's see if Rob has anything to say about that next week.

Game Previews

Skyler (6) vs Kyle (7): Skyler has 1 player on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye. Kyle has 1 player on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. If Skyler wins, there will be a 2 game gap between the last playoff team and the 7 seed, but if Kyle wins, it will be all tied up. It probably means nothing, but we've never had the 6 seed with a 2-game lead over the 7 seed after week 7.  And I'm also realizing this would require Trevor and Brady to win as well as Skyler.  So odds are good we won't see a 2-game gap from 6 to 7 at the halfway point.

Brandon (10) vs Brady (4): Brandon has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye. Brady has 1 player on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. This is the leading bonanza candidate based on the always accurate and infallible projections.

Scott (8) vs Trevor (5): Scott has 0 players on Thursday and 4 players in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. Trevor has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. 

Jordan (2) vs Matt (3): Jordan has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. Matt has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. 

TJ (1) vs Rob (11): TJ has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Rob has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Based on the standings, this could be the blowout of the week.  Based on projections, this is a prime bonanza candidate.

Tommy (9) vs Tyler (12): Tommy has 1 player on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 3 players on bye. Tyler has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 1 player on bye. Based on standings, this looks to be the battle of ineptitude.

Good luck to everyone but Kyle this week.

Weeks 4&5: Rapid Fire

Here's a rapid-fire update in the hopes of trying to get caught up before getting further behind.

Week 4 Game Recaps

Skyler > Brandon: Skyler got lucky that several of Brandon's players got hurt.

Brady > Jordan: Brady had 4 guys who went for 20+, Jordan had 0.

TJ > Scott: This blowout of the week was made possible by TJ having 3 score 20+ while Scott had none. TJ even had 1 of those three go for 30+.

Matt > Tyler: Matt had one guy over 30, Tyler had one guy over 20. Tyler's bottom two players combined for 2 points. Tyler's bottom two players combined for less than Matt's worst player. This was the battle of ineptitude

Kyle > Rob: Weekly bonanza as well as the weekly and nightly nail-biter, so it was easily the game of the week. 

Trevor > Tommy: Game was decided by Sunday afternoon.  According to the website, this was Trevor's first win over Tommy. Both had players score 0 points, but Trevor got the win by having three 20+ point players (including a 30+), while Tommy only had two 20+ point players.

Week 4 Awards

MVP: The Titan's DST gets this for Kyle.  They were playing Monday night, they were averaging 7 points a game, and then they put up 19 in a game Kyle only won by 8.

LVP: There's no one obvious, so I'll say the Dolphins DST for Rob. Will Levis got hurt before he could give up 3+ sacks or throw a pick 6.

Unluckiest Team of the Week:  Rob was a top 4 team and still lost -- it couldn't happen to a more deserving team.

Luckiest Team of the Week: Matt was the lowest-scoring winner, and is lucky to stay undefeated.

Highest Scoring Team of the Week: TJ put on a clinic this week.  Let's hope it's not a trend (foreshadowing).

Lowest Scoring Team of the Week: Tyler needs to go to a clinic as the only team to not break 100.

King of the Court: TJ takes the crown from Scott this week.

Week 5 Game Recaps

Skyler vs Trevor: This was the battle of ineptitude, but at least there was a Monday Nightmare/Miracle to make up for the low score, and this was also the closest game of the week. Each team only had one player score 20+, and each had 3 players in single digits, and both had a key player injured. There's no real reason that Skyler won this game.

Brandon vs Tommy: This would have been the weekly bonanza had TJ not gone nuclear and automatically made his game the bonanza.  Almost hitting the bonanza was unexpected as these two came into the game defeated.  As a parting gift to his former North Carolinian, Tommy took the win with him to Cedar City. On the top end, both teams had two players score 20+.  Tommy got said win thanks to the lower-level players though, as Brandon had one player go <=5 while Tommy had none, and Brandon had 4 players score single digits, while Tommy only had 2.

Tyler vs Rob: Speaking of teams getting their first wins of the season, Tyler gets his first win thanks Lamar going for 40+ and Rob tanking.

TJ vs Brady: TJ decided he liked being the high scorer last week, but didn't like that he didn't get his shout-out in time -- so he went even higher this week and throttled Brady, making this both the weekly bonanza and blowout of the week. Said throttling was made possible by Burrow going for 40+, London going for 30+, and Bigsby and Bowers going for 20+.  Brady had a valiant effort and would have won against about half the league, but had a rough schedule this week. TJ keeps his King of the Court crown for another week, and Brady is no longer undefeated.

Jordan vs Scott: Jordan got the win this week by ~30 points.  In a normal week, that's blowout material, but this week it only puts him in the top half of winning margins. Jordan's win came on the backs of his studs as he had two 20+ point players (Murray and Wilson).  He needed those top players as he had 4 people in single digits, while Scott had only one player score single digits (and he was 3 yards away from being double digits).

Kyle vs Matt: Matt got a 35-point win -- which was made possible by the 2nd highest scorer going against the lowest scorer.  Again, that was solid blowout material except TJ went crazy.  Anyway, Matt remains the last undefeated team thanks to a great game from Ja'Marr Chase going for 40+ and Geno going for 20+. Kyle was let down by no one going over 20 points.

Week 5 Award Season

MVP: Shaheed got Skyler the late win on MNF in the closest game, so he was the front-runner, but then I remembered that Lamar put up so many points for Tyler that he convinced Rob to quit a game he would have won had he actually tried, so Lamar gets the award this week for getting Tyler his first win.  Burrow was also a leading contender as he was the highest-scoring player on the highest-scoring team, but TJ could have sat him and still won.

LVP: Kaimi Fairbairn and the Saints DST.

Luckiest Team of the Week: Skyler should win the award as he was the lowest-scoring winner, but for reasons mentioned above, we'll give it to Tyler.

Unluckiest Team of the Week: Brandon would have beat 6 other people, so he'll get the award this week, though Trevor has a minor claim to the thrown with only 10 points combined from Darnold and Hall.

Highest Scoring Team of the Week: TJ -- aka Mr Goodtimes

Lowest Scoring Team of the Week: Kyle

King of the Court: The good times keep rolling for King Goodtimes, and he holds onto his crown for another week.

Game Previews

Skyler (6) vs Tyler (11): Skyler has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 5 players on bye. Tyler has 4 players on Thursday (likely only 2 starters) and 0 players in primetime.  He has 1 player on bye. 

Kyle (7) vs Tommy (9): Kyle has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 3 players on bye. Tommy has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime.  He has 0 players on bye.

Matt (1) vs TJ (2): Matt has 2 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 3 players on bye. TJ has 2 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime.  He has 1 player on bye. Rankings have this as the bonanza.

Rob (10) vs Jordan (4): Rob has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. Jordan has 1 player on Thursday and 2 players in primetime.  He has 1 player on bye.

Trevor (5) vs Brady (3): Trevor has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Brady has 1 player on Thursday and 2 players in primetime.  He has 0 players on bye. 

Brandon (12) vs Scott (8): Brandon has 1 player on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 3 players on bye. Scott has 2 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime.  He has 1 player on bye. Based on rankings, this is the battle of ineptitude.

Good luck to everyone but Trevor this week.

Week 3: 2,1,0

3, 2, 1, 0 -- a countdown that is often used by kids playing ball in the driveway, as part of a countdown on New Year's Eve, or even a shuttle launch.  This week, however, it perfectly describes each division from the top (3 wins) to the bottom (0 wins).  This kind of pattern isn't uncommon -- there's usually a division that follows this pattern at least once a year, sometimes even twice a year.  2024 is only the second time every division follows this pattern.  The only other time it has happened was actually last year.  If we put too much stock into last year's results, Brady, Matt, and Jordan (all 3-0) will all make the playoffs, and one of them will win the whole thing. Two of the 2-1 teams (Scott, Trevor, TJ) will make the playoffs this year, and only one of the 1-2 teams (Skyler, Rob, Kyle) will have a shot.  Sorry to the 0-3 teams (Tommy, Brandon, Tyler), assuming history holds.

Game Recaps

Skyler vs Brady: Skyler started off strong Sunday morning -- whether that was because his Vikings did well, or just because he had more people than Brady in the morning game, it doesn't really matter -- but Brady's RB's made it a close game Sunday afternoon. Monday night ended up being a Josh Allen clinic has he gained Brady a lead and then kept building on it until he had Skyler's team (and the Jaguars) in a chokehold.  Despite the 'comeback' nature of this game, it wasn't even close to the best game of the night. As previously mentioned, Allen was a big player in getting Brady the win, but Brady's Lions (Montgomery and ARSB) joined the 20+ club with Allen. Skyler had 3 people in the 20+ group as well (Daniels, Jones, Jefferson).  The big difference in this game was Brady having 6 people score double digits while Skyler only had 3, and Skyler having two players at 5 and under, while Brady only had 1. This was somehow the bonanza -- most of that having to do with Brady being the high scorer of the week.

Tommy vs Scott:  This was the 2nd place for the battle of ineptitude, but it was the best game of the week as it was closest, and went back and forth several times on Monday night aka Nail-biter of the night and week, and also a Monday Nightmare/Miracle. Scott's team wrapped up on SNF, while Tommy still had his DST and RB going on MNF. Tommy may have been thankful that his players weren't going head to head, but in the end, the players ended up canceling each other out to some degree, with his DST getting negative points, and ETN wasn't able to do enough to counteract. By my count, there were 4 lead changes during the night, and in the end, Scott walked away with a win by less than 4 points.  The small bit of consolation for Tommy is that at least it was far enough away that it wasn't like he lost by 10 yards or anything.  Tommy's only 20+ point player was Nabers, while Scott had no players in that group. It probably won't help Tommy feel any better that he had 6 people score double digits, while Scott only had 5.  The thing that set this game apart was Tommy's bottom 2 people scoring a combined -0.7, while Scott's bottom two players combined for 6.5

Matt vs Trevor: This was the first week Matt finally played a full roster, but that actually ended up helping him, as Trevor's defense scored negative points.  Trevor probably felt he had a small chance going into Monday night, but then Matt's two players combined for nearly 50 and secured the come-from-behind win by nearly 25 points. Despite the two MNF players combining for almost 50, only one of Matt's players got 20+ points (Ja'marr Chase). Trevor's only entrant into the 20+ point club was Rashee Rice.  Matt's win came on the margins as he had 4 double-digit scorers to Trevor's 3, and his 5U club had 0 members, while Trevor's had 2 (combined for negative points).

Rob vs Brandon: Rob would have been the high scorer of the week, but he decided to sit his DST and instead buy a lotto ticket called 'the Bills backup RB'. He could afford to do that thanks to this being the biggest blowout of the week.  Rob was able to secure said blowout on the backs of Dak, Kyren, and Charbonnet as they all scored 20+ (the first two actually went for 30+), while Brandon only had one person score 20+ (Derrick Henry with 30+). 6 of Rob's 8 starters went for double digits, while Brandon only had 2.  Rob was so top-heavy, it made no difference that he had 3 slots score 5U, while Brandon only had 1.

TJ vs Kyle: This wasn't a wire-to-wire win, but TJ led for most of the game and ended up winning comfortably.  Kyle started out alright with a quick start from Olave, but then TJ clawed back, with some back and forth in the morning games, and then TJ took the lead early in the afternoon game and never looked back.  TJ's win was made possible by Burrow and Taylor joining the 20+ point group, 5 people with double digits, and only one 5U player.  Kyle had the workhorses at the top by also having two people in the 20+ point group (Mahomes and Olave), and 4 people with double digits, but was let down by three 5U players.

Jordan vs Tyler and the Half Iron Man: Thanks to the Half Iron Man, Tyler only rostered half a team.  That's not entirely true -- Mark Andrews was active, he was just awful.  Mixon was declared out almost 24 hours before the game though, so that's definitely on Tyler. Thanks to Tyler's poor showing, Jordan didn't even roster a full team and was the 5th highest-scoring team this week without a DST. Jordan had two 20+ point players (Saquon and DK), while Tyler only had one in Lamar Jackson. Jordan also had a noticeable lead in the double-digit count as he had 5 players score double digits, while Tyler only had 3. Jordan had two 5U players (one being no DST), while Tyler had three (two bad players and an inactive Mixon) 5U players. At least Tyler apologized to the league, but I feel he owes a few more apologies.  He owes one to Tony Stark since Tyler thinks he can call himself Iron Man now. He owes one to social media -- Shalyse called him an Iron Man on Facebook for completing a half Iron Man.  If we gave full titles for halfway completing something, I hope we can get 4-time league champ Chad back in the league.  Lastly, he owes God an apology for using his body to be out exercising on the Sabbath, instead of vegging on the couch and watching football all day.

Award Season

MVP: This is tricky because most games were some version of blowouts, so I want to give the award to someone on Scott's team for helping him get the win, but his team was kind of 'meh' individually.  Let's give it to the Seahawks DST for their best game of the season.  I know we're only 3 weeks in, so there's plenty of time to pass that number, but I'd be surprised if they get over 17 the rest of the season.  The runner-up goes to Josh Allen for having 35 points at halftime for the highest-scoring team of the week.

LVP: It would be easy to give this to the Bengals for getting negative points on MNF in a game that was decided by less than 4 points.  But I'll go a little deeper and say the newly acquired Rhamondre Stevenson was the real downfall for Tommy. Before this week, Rhamondre was averaging 19.3 a week -- this week he left the 19 at home and only scored 0.3.  

Unluckiest Team of the Week: The numbers say Skyler should win as the highest-scoring loser, but as the 6th highest-scoring team, that hardly counts.  Let's give this one to Tommy for the timing of his loss in addition to all of the LVP comments about his team above.

Luckiest Team of the Week: Scott was the lowest-scoring winner, and got the win in the last minutes of the MNF doubleheader. But hey, he's 2-1, and sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.

Highest Scorer of the Week: Brady wins this award after a big night by Allen, and a concession by Rob.

Lowest Scorer of the Week: I would say the half Iron Man was a touchdown catch away from being half of Brady's points, but no one on his team actually caught a touchdown (rushing and passing only this week), so instead I'll just keep it classy and say "Tyler is the low scorer of the week".

King of the Court: Scott holds on to his crown last minute after the nail-biter that was Monday Night and will try to hold onto it another week when TJ comes to town.

Centurion Watch: Congrats to Jordan and Rob for joining the Centurion Lounge this week. We hope you enjoy the amenities, and the towels that look like $100 bills should stay by the pool/hot tub area when you're done. Matt finally passed Chad and is in sole possession of 5th place all-time in wins at 94.

Game Previews

Skyler (9) vs Brandon (11): Skyler has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. Brandon has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime.  This is far and away the front-runner for the battle of ineptitude

Brady (1) vs Jordan (2): Brady has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. Jordan has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime.   This is the clear front-runner for the bonanza and the game of the week.

Scott (6) vs TJ (5): Scott has 3 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. TJ has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. 

Tyler (12) vs Matt (3): Tyler has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. Matt has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime.  

Rob (8) vs Kyle (7): Rob has 1 player on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. Kyle has 0 players on Thursday and 4 players in primetime.   4 of the 7 primetime players are on MNF, so this should be a nail-biter

Tommy (10) vs Trevor (4): Tommy has 2 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. Trevor has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime.   

Week 2: What an Ugly Week

Welcome to week 2, where passing around the NFL is still a mess.  Last week only 2 QB's threw for 300+ yards, and only 16 threw for 200+ yards in their game.  This week, we had 3 QB's throw for 300+ and 17 threw for 200+.  At this rate, we could have some fireworks during the fantasy championship -- though it's probable that none of us feel like we're going to make it, as this was a week of ineptitude and ugly injuries.

Game Recaps

Skyler vs Scott: This was such a sad game. The highest scorer (Scott) took on the lowest scorer (Skyler) and nearly doubled him up. It was such a blowout in part because Skyler only had Justin Jefferson score 20+ points, and only a total of two people who hit double digits, with 3 under 5. Scott on the other hand had 3 people score 20+ (Hurts, Adams, Godwin), 6 total people in double digits, and 1 with 5 and under. This game was so bad, that it was over as soon as the morning games had finished.  Skyler's 9 players were worse than Scott's 5 early players. This was somehow not the battle of ineptitude, but it was close.  It finished at 223.76 points

Tommy vs Brady:  This was technically the nail-biter of the week as it was the closest game of the week, but it ended on Sunday night.  Not only did it end before Monday, but Tommy wasn't able to complete the comeback and fell just short as Brady ended up leading wire to wire. Brady was led to victory somewhat miraculously as he only had one guy score 20+ (The Sun God), but a 0 from his TE. It helped he had 7 people in double digits. Tommy kept it close by also having one person score 20+ points (Nabers), only one person score 5 and under,  and 6 people score double digits.  In a game where the margin was under 5 points, that additional double-digit scorer appears to have been all the difference. 

Matt vs Brandon: 2-0 Matt still has yet to play someone with a full roster, as Keenan Allen was a late scratch for Brandon.  It didn't help that Brandon started an additional WR who was never targeted in real life. Brandon also lost Cooper Kupp midway through the game, but not to be outdone, Brandon had Pacheco leave the game and go on IR.  The game started out fun with each team having a 25+ point running back on Thursday night. Matt's eventual come-from-behind victory was made possible thanks to MHJ's breakout game.  MHJ and Cook were Matt's only 2 20+ point scorers, while Brandon's only two were Achane and Kittle.  Brandon actually had more double-digit scorers (5), than Matt did (4), but Brandon was done in by two guys scoring 0 points (his only members of the 5 and under club), while Matt had two guys score 5 and under, but at least they combined for more than 0. Maybe next week Matt will face a full roster? This was somehow not the battle of ineptitude, but it was close.  It finished at 224.94 points

Rob vs Trevor: Speaking of not having a full roster, Trevor decided to play 2 people down and still won by over 25 points.  Oh, my bad, he just had 2 people who ended up getting 0 points. Rob only had one person in the 20+ tier (Devonta Smith), while Trevor had two (Hall and Collins).  In terms of double digit scorers, Rob had five, and Trevor had 6.  Finally, in the 5 and under club, Rob had 4 people while Trevor had 2.  For winning by 25, I expected Trevor blow out Rob in one of these categories, but it looks like Trevor marginally won in each category, and it was enough to give him a comfortable win.  He wasn't the top scorer of the week, but Trevor is still looking like the team to beat. This was somehow not the battle of ineptitude, but it was close. It finished at 225.4 points

Tyler vs TJ: In another not quite a blow out, but not a close game, TJ and Tyler went head to head.  Thursday started off in Tylers favor as TJ's starting RB scored less than half a point, Tyler was not able to capatilze, and they went into Monday night with TJ having a solid lead, while having one player left two play, and Tyler having two.  Sadly for Tyler, London did enough to keep Bijan and the Eagles kicker at bay for TJ. Tyler had no players score 20+ points, while TJ only had two (Burrow and Flowers [Side note, Harry Potter smells something flowery that he thought came from the Burrow when he was smelling Amortentia in book 6.  I can't decide if this duo should be nicknamed Amortentia, or Ginny Weasley, but I'm gonna think on it some more]). Tyler didn't fare much better in the double digit category as he had 4 to TJ's 6, and they each only had one player in the 5 and under club. Finally, we find the battle of ineptitude. It finished at 220.7 points

Jordan vs Kyle: For my money, this was the game of the week (there is no money on this, so feel free to disagree) as it was the Monday Night Nail-Biter (final of 5 point difference) and since there was a comeback, the Monday Nightmare/Miracle. It was also easily the bonanza of the week as they were the 2nd and 3rd highest scorers of the week.  Kyle started strong with Kamara going to yet another level and scoring 44 points. The rest of his team was solid, but wasn't good enough to overcome Jordan's team making a furious comeback, capped off by Saquons performance on Monday Night Football to finish off the narrow victory. Jordan had only had two people score 20+ (Murray and Metcalf), while Kyle only had Kamara. Each team also had 6 scorers in double digits, while Jordan had 3 people score 5 and under, while Kyle only had 1.  Based on those metrics, with the knowledge Kamara scored 44, it would have been safe to assume Kyle won, but sometimes Monday Night Miracles happen.

Award Season

MVP: It was only 17.6 points, but Saquon did just enough to get Jordan's team over the line.  The other finalists were Kyler Murray (the highest scorer on Jordan's team), Amon-Ra St. Brown (highest scorer in the closest game), and Davante Adams (highest scorer on the highest scoring team)Uta

LVP: I'll give this to Mahomes as he only got 15 points and threw 2 INT's in a game that was decided by 5 points.

Unluckiest Team of the Week: Kyle was 3rd highest scorer of the week, and lost in the 4th quarter of MNF after having Kamara go off for 44 points.

Luckiest Team of the Week: Matt wins this -- maybe it's because he was the lowest scoring winner, or maybe it's because he played another team not playing a full lineup.  I'll let you decide.

Highest Scorer of the Week: Scott beat everyone to the highest scorer award, and led the 2nd highest scorer by double digits.

Lowest Scorer of the Week: Skyler was easily the lowest scorer of the week as the next lowest scorers out did him by 20+ points.

King of the Court: All Hail Scott, the King of the Court, first of his name. He put Skyler out to pasture and took the crown in the process. He will look to defend it against Tommy next week before we begin interdivision play

Centurion Watch: Jordan and Rob should be at 98, while Brady should be at 99.  I'll have to look this up later and confirm.

[Update] I reviewed the data, and had to go back through the blog and the website for 2019 to confirm everything (it was screwy because of the way I added Chad back to the league at the end of the season), and Brady's win over Tommy made him a centurion. Rob and Jordan are both at 99 and even if they lose every possible game, one of them will have to get in this year when they play the other -- unless they get the league's first tie that game and lose every other game, we will get two more Centurions this year.  

The next closest at 93 career wins is Matt, and also Chad for that matter.  Matt could get there, while I hope Chad someday gets there. The next closest are Kyle and Tyler at 89 wins. It will be a tall order for one of them to make it this year, but it could happen if they have an amazing rest of the season.  Konner has 29 career wins -- he hasn't been a full-time player since 2014,  (though he did get one win when taking over for Geoff at the end of 2018) and Brandon is at 28 career wins and should move up past Konner soon. Tommy is at 36 and could pass Geoff at 44 this year if things go his way.

Game Previews

[hopefully coming later today after I get home from YM's]

[Oops, my bad]

Quick Programming Note - There appear to be 2 MNF games this week. Prepare to sweat it out accordingly.

Skyler (8) vs Brady (3): Skyler has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. Brady has 0 players on Thursday night and 4 players in primetime. 

Tommy (10) vs Scott (6): Tommy has 1 player on Thursday night and 3 players in primetime. Scott has 0 players on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. The winner gets the King of the Court

Matt (4) vs Trevor (1): Matt has 0 players on Thursday night and 3 players in primetime. Trevor has 1 player on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. This is looking like the Bonanza and maybe the Monday Nightmare/Miracle, so it's as front-runner for the game of the week.  The winner will stay undefeated.

Rob (12) vs Brandon (9): Rob has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. Brandon has 0 players on Thursday night and 1 player in primetime. This is the clubhouse leader for the battle of ineptitude.  The loser will continue to be defeated as both teams have started 0-2.

TJ (7) vs Kyle (5): TJ has 0 players on Thursday night and 3 players in primetime. Kyle has no players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime.

Jordan (2) vs Tyler (11): Jordan has 1 player on Thursday night and 0 players in primetime. Tyler has 0 players on Thursday night and 2 players in primetime. Given the rankings difference, this looks like the early battle of ineptitude, though Tyler is currently a 10 point favorite in the projections.

Good luck to everyone but Brady this week.

Week 1: AI Won't Be Coming For Our Jobs Just Yet

Welcome to the 2024 season! Football is finally back and we can stop being friends for a while.

If you recall week 1 last year,  I had a real banger of a song that did not involve AI.  Well, in the spirit of that song and Rob's attempts to tank this year, I thought this video would give a solid recap of his attempt to tank -- but we'll get to the specifics of that matchup later.

Game Recaps

Skyler vs Tommy: In one of the closer and higher-scoring games of the week, Skyler got a victory over Tommy, despite Tommy leading most of the game.  Skyler had Daniels and the Bears DST in the 20+ point inquisition, while Tommy had Stroud and Brown in the 20+ point group. Skyler had 5 people score double digits, while Tommy had 7 score double digits.  Tommy had 1 person in the 5 and under club, while Skyler had 2 guys score 5 and under.  By all accounts, this game made no sense -- especially when you look at how crucial the Kicker and DST were to this matchup. As Skyler was the king of the court last week, he keeps it this week after beating Tommy.

Rewritten by ChatGPT to be in the voice of Shawn Spencer: In one of this week's nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat matchups, Skyler pulled off a victory over Tommy despite Tommy having the upper hand for most of the game. Skyler had Daniels and the Bears DST doing their 20+ point dance, while Tommy's Stroud and Brown were also in that high-scoring club. Skyler had five players rock the double digits, but Tommy's crew was packing a whopping seven double-digit scorers. On the flip side, Tommy had just one member of the 5 and under club, while Skyler had two.

Now, if you thought this game made sense, you'd be wrong. The kicker and DST were like the unexpected plot twist that makes the entire episode worthwhile. Skyler, having reigned supreme last week, decided to keep his crown this week with a victory over Tommy. It’s like a plot twist in an epic season finale – you didn’t see it coming, but it totally makes sense!

Rewritten as a scene from Psych: **INT. PSYCH OFFICE - DAY**

*Shawn and Gus are lounging in their usual spots, Shawn on the desk and Gus in the chair next to him. A large whiteboard behind them is filled with colorful markers, charts, and a complex game plan that looks like it could double as a mad scientist’s blueprint.*

**SHAWN:** (dramatic) Alright, Gus, hold on to your kale chips because this week’s matchup was more perplexing than a Rubik's Cube at a quantum physics convention.

**GUS:** (squinting at the whiteboard) Lay it on me, Shawn. How did Skyler manage to outsmart Tommy in this high-stakes showdown?

**SHAWN:** Picture this: Tommy was like the reigning champion of the game, leading most of the time like a knight in shining armor, until—*cue suspenseful music*—Skyler swoops in like a well-timed plot twist.

**GUS:** (intrigued) And what happened next?

**SHAWN:** Skyler had Daniels and the Bears DST doing their high-scoring mambo in the 20+ point club, while Tommy’s Stroud and Brown were busting moves in the same exclusive VIP section.

**GUS:** (impressed) So, they were neck and neck?

**SHAWN:** Exactly! But here's where it gets juicier. Skyler had five players hitting double digits, and Tommy had a whopping seven. But Tommy had one lonely soul in the 5 and under club, while Skyler had two of his guys underperforming like they forgot their lines in a big scene.

**GUS:** (confused) Sounds like it should have been Tommy’s game to lose.

**SHAWN:** That’s the twist! The kicker and DST were the unexpected heroes here. Skyler kept his crown from last week, and this week, he held on to it by the skin of his teeth.

**GUS:** (nodding) So, it was a real cliffhanger!

**SHAWN:** (grinning) You betcha! It’s like the season finale where you never see it coming, but when it hits, it all makes perfect, if somewhat baffling, sense.

*Shawn and Gus exchange a satisfied look as they finish up their snack, the whiteboard still filled with cryptic notes and colorful markers.*

**GUS:** (cheerful) Can’t wait to see what next week’s episode has in store.

**SHAWN:** (with a wink) Oh, it’s going to be a doozy. Just you wait!

*They both laugh as the scene fades out.*

Scott vs Brady: Scott had someone from both Thursday and Friday to make things interesting early on, but unfortunately for him, only one of those two was any good.  Brady was able to catch up pretty easily thanks to Josh Allen going off.  For context, Scott's whole team scored 3 TD's all week, Josh Allen scored 4 TD's by himself. Allen was one of 3 people to be in the 20+ point club for Brady (Stevenson and Evans), while Scott only had Hurts join the group.  Both teams had 3 players score 5 and under, while Scott actually had 5 double-digit point-getters to Brady's 4. This ended up being the blowout of the week. (Original)

ChatGPT Rewrite in the voice of Micahel Scott from the Office since Brady likes the office:
Okay, listen up! So, Scott had players going on both Thursday and Friday—thinking he’s making things “interesting.” But, like usual, only one of those guys did any good. Meanwhile, Brady? He just sits back, sipping his coffee, while Josh Allen goes completely bananas. For perspective: Scott’s entire team scored 3 TDs all week, and Josh Allen alone scored 4. That’s insane! Allen, Stevenson, and Evans are basically Brady’s all-stars. Hurts tried to help Scott, but, you know... it’s Hurts. The rest? Blowout city. Classic!

As a scene from the office: 

Cut to the conference room. Scott stands in front of the whiteboard, looking mildly frustrated.

Scott: (talking head) "Okay, so here’s the thing—I had people playing Thursday and Friday. Thought I’d start strong, keep things interesting. But no. Only one of them does anything good. Classic."

Cut to Brady smirking at his desk, clearly ahead in the matchup.

Scott: (exasperated) "Meanwhile, Brady's guy, Josh Allen, decides to score FOUR touchdowns by himself! My whole team? Three touchdowns. It’s like watching Dwight try to play basketball—painful."

Jim raises his eyebrows in the background.

Scott: (still ranting) "Brady had three players over 20 points—Allen, Stevenson, Evans. Me? Just Hurts. Yeah, thanks Jalen... Real helpful. Both of us had guys scoring under five, but somehow I had more double-digit players than him. Doesn’t matter though. Blowout city, people!"

Camera zooms in on Scott’s sad face, clearly defeated.

Scott: (shrugs) "You win some, you lose some... but mostly, you lose some."

Cut to Dwight nodding in agreement, oblivious.

Matt vs Rob:  Rob's tanking antics are legendary, but it's good to see when it blows up in his face a little bit.  This story has not been confirmed, but he likely picked up Likely as an insurance policy in case Andrews got hurt.  He didn't get hurt, but Likely played so well Rob couldn't drop him.  At this point Rob still had 3 starters out, but had one less person to drop. He also had a couple of handcuffs he didn't want to drop, and a starter who missed the week because of injury.  In the end he tanked yet again, but I don't think the plan was to tank the way he did.  To help guarantee the victory, Matt picked up the last two kickers to make sure Rob couldn't use them to his advantage.  Matt needed a kicker anyway since he was also holding onto his lottery tickets like Rob was, but he decided to pick up the last two kickers just to be safe Picking up the kickers when he did secured the victory as Moody scored 24 points, and had Rob picked him up, Rob would have won.  Matt only had two people score 20+ points -- the aforementioned Mad Eye, as well as the Saints DST. Rob had no one score 20+ points. Matt had 6 people score double digits, while Roby only had 5.  Matt had two people score 5 and under, while Rob had three when you include the kicker he didn't start. In the interest of being 'objective' about Rob, he did pick up the Jets DST, but they were the worst DST started this week.  He could have completely given up, but he didn't, and I appreciate that.  The loss couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy though. This was easily the battle of ineptitude. (Original)

I know Matt likes Stranger Things (based on a 4 year old message in the chat), so I had it rewritten in Mike's voice as well as a scene from stranger things.

Mike Wheeler: Alright, so here’s the deal. Rob’s been tanking—like, on purpose—but this time? It totally backfired. I heard he picked up Likely as backup in case Andrews got hurt, but Andrews was fine, and then Likely played so well that Rob couldn’t drop him. So, he’s stuck with three starters out and nobody to drop. Meanwhile, Matt? He swoops in and grabs the last two kickers, including Moody, who scores 24 points! That was the move. Rob had no one scoring over 20 points, and it was basically the biggest screw-up ever. Total mess.

Scene: *Scene: The dim lights of Hawkins Middle School's gym flicker. The fantasy football showdown is in full swing, but something dark looms in the air.*

**Mike**: (voiceover) "Rob’s been playing the game like he knows something we don’t. He picks up Likely as backup—seems like a good move. But then Andrews doesn’t get hurt. Still, Likely’s too good to drop. Now, Rob’s got three starters out, and no one to bench. He’s trapped."

*In the distance, Matt, always one step ahead, picks up the last two kickers, locking Rob out of the points.*

**Dustin**: (pushing up his glasses) "Matt's playing like a Demogorgon on a mission."

*The scoreboard flickers: Moody, 24 points.*

**Mike**: "If Rob had picked up Moody, he would've won. But now... it’s over. Matt only had two 20+ point scorers—Mad Eye and the Saints defense. Rob? Zero. It’s like the Upside Down... nothing makes sense."

**Lucas**: (shaking his head) "Matt’s got six double-digit players, Rob only five. It’s a blowout. A battle of total incompetence."

*Cut to Rob staring at the Jets’ defense score—just a flicker of light in a sea of losses.*

**Mike**: (sighs) "He didn’t give up though. And that... I respect." 

*The screen goes dark. The loss sinks in. Rob walks away, the lights flickering behind him.*

Brandon vs Trevor:  This was easily the game of the week.  It was the bonanza, the nail-biter of the week, and had a little Monday Nightmare/Miracle going on.  It was close, but it looked like Trevor would sail to an easy victory with CMC and Breece going against Kittle Monday night, even though Trevor was behind a little after Kupp's Sunday night resurgence.  Unfortunately, late word of CMC being out made things a lot more intense for a while.  In the end Hall had a solid game and Kittle was meh enough on Brandon's team for Trevor to win as the #1 highest scoring team of the week beat the #2 highest scoring team of the week.  Brandon had 3 members of the 20+ point club (Richardson, Achane, and Kupp) while Trevor countered with two members of his own (Reed, and the Cowboys DST). Trevor had 7 players in double digits, while Brandon had 6, and only Trevor had one player score 5 or less (CMC late).  While Brandon showed himself a worthy contended this year, Trevor getting the high score of the week with the number 1 overall pick getting a goose egg on the bench puts an early target on his back as the team to beat this year.

Rewritten as Yoda: Game of the week, easily it was. A bonanza, a nail-biter, yes, with much Monday Nightmare energy it had. Close, it was, but Trevor, to victory seemed destined. CMC and Breece against Kittle on Monday, he had. But word, late, that CMC would not play, brought tension, yes. Yet Breece strong played, and Kittle’s "meh" performance sealed Trevor’s win. Highest scoring team, he was. Brandon fought well, with Richardson, Achane, and Kupp, 20+ points they had. Trevor, the team to beat now, he is. A target on his back, there is.

Rewritten as Kermit the Frog: *Hi-ho, everybody!* This was easily the game of the week! I mean, it had *everything*—a real nail-biter, with a little Monday Nightmare twist thrown in! Things were looking good for Trevor, with CMC and Breece Hall going up against Kittle Monday night. But oh no, news came in that CMC was out, and suddenly it got intense! Still, Hall pulled through, and Kittle’s "meh" performance helped Trevor snag the win. Both teams had big scorers, but Trevor’s squad just had a little more magic. Now, he’s the team to beat this year! *Yay!*

TJ vs Jordan: This game started out with TJ's kicker helping him take a light lead on Thursday night, followed by Jordan taking a huge lead thanks to Saquon on Friday night.  That lead got wider and wider Sunday morning, before TJ started to catch up Sunday afternoon and evening.  They each had a player on Monday Night, and thankfully for Jordan, Wilson did enough to overcome the 49ers DST.  This game shouldn't have been as close as it was, but Jordan is trying to be like Rob, and he didn't start a DST because he wanted to hold onto some players on the bench.  TJ only had 1 player in the 20+ crew (Diggs). Jordan decided to join him, and only had one player in that group.  The bigger difference in the outcome this game came down to Jordan have 6 players in double digits to TJ's 4.  Jordan also had more players (2) in the 5 and under category than TJ (1), but it wasn't enough to offset Saquon's big start to the season.

Rewritten from a gambling addicts perspective: Alright, listen up, because this one was a real rollercoaster, baby! TJ’s kicker started off with a little sprinkle of points on Thursday—no big deal, right? But then Friday night, Saquon exploded for Jordan, and I thought, "Oh man, I’m toast." But hey, come Sunday, TJ makes a comeback like he’s got the horseshoe up his...well, you know where. It all came down to Monday. Wilson? Saved Jordan. No DST? Bold, my friend. One player in the 20+? Fine. Double-digit players? Jordan had 6! I needed this win, man. I could feel the rush! Feels so good!

Rewritten as a if a game from the world series of poker (probably my least favorite rewrite): **INT. WORLD SERIES OF POKER - FINAL TABLE - NIGHT**

*The camera zooms in on the final two players at the World Series of Poker. TJ and Jordan are staring down their hands, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. The dealer lays out the community cards, and the chips stack high in the center of the table.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) Welcome back to the World Series of Poker, where tonight’s high-stakes game has been nothing short of a rollercoaster. Let’s break down how TJ and Jordan got here.

*Cut to FLASHBACK scenes of the game.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) It all started on Thursday night. TJ’s kicker played a strategic hand, giving him a slight edge. But Jordan turned the tide on Friday night, thanks to Saquon, who delivered a massive lead. The game seemed to widen in Jordan's favor Sunday morning.

*Footage shows Jordan's confident smirk as he watches his chips pile up.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) But TJ wasn’t going down without a fight. He clawed his way back into contention by Sunday afternoon and evening, turning the tables with a series of strategic plays.

*The scene shifts to the final moments of Monday night, where both players have a single card left to play.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) On Monday night, both players had a final chance to make their move. Jordan had Wilson in play, and with some luck, he managed to outplay TJ’s 49ers DST. It was a nail-biter, given the way the game was unfolding.

*Close-up of Jordan’s relieved smile as the final hand is dealt.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) Despite the close call, Jordan managed to emulate a bit of Rob’s strategy by holding back on the DST, a risky move that nearly backfired. TJ had only one player in the 20+ point crew—Diggs. Jordan matched him with just one player of his own in that high-stakes group.

*Cut to footage of Jordan’s and TJ’s chip stacks, highlighting the final tally.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) The real game-changer? Jordan’s six players who scored in double digits versus TJ’s four. Jordan also had more players in the 5 and under category—two, to be exact—compared to TJ’s one. But it was Saquon’s explosive start that ultimately made the difference.

*The camera pans back to the poker table as Jordan pushes his chips forward, winning the hand.*

**ANNOUNCER:** (voice-over) And with that, Jordan emerges victorious. It was a close call, but he played his cards right and held on to win this high-stakes game. 

*The crowd erupts in applause as Jordan celebrates his hard-fought victory.*

Tyler vs Kyle:  The last game started out hot with both team's having their starting QB's in the Thursday night game.  Mahomes outdueled Jackson and got Tyler the early lead, but his TE and DST left a lot to be desired that night, while Kyle's Kicker was serviceable.  Kyle was able to claw back his lead thanks to Tyreek's Handcuff game, and Kamara finding a fountain of youth.  Once he took the lead, he never gave it back, though Tyler's 49ers on Monday night closed the game and helped this not be the blowout of the week.  Tyler only had Jackson who scored 20+ points, and Kyle had two in Kamara and Tyreek. Tyler had 5 guys in double digits, while Kyle had 6.  As far as 5 and under point games, Tyler had 4, and Kyle had 2.

Voice/Scene from Ron Swanson (my freebie queries ran out, so it was using some lower version?): **INT. RON SWANSON’S OFFICE - DAY**

*Ron Swanson sits at his desk, a pile of meat and a stack of paperwork in front of him. He speaks with his usual no-nonsense demeanor, a hint of disdain for anything less than excellence.*

**RON SWANSON:** Alright, listen up. The last game kicked off with both teams parading their starting quarterbacks on Thursday night. Mahomes outperformed Jackson and handed Tyler an early lead. However, Tyler’s tight end and defense were about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Kyle’s kicker, though, was competent—barely.

*Ron takes a bite of his steak and continues.*

**RON SWANSON:** Kyle managed to claw his way back into the game with Tyreek’s impressive performance and Kamara rediscovering his prime form. Once Kyle took the lead, he wasn’t about to relinquish it. Tyler’s 49ers on Monday night did their best to close the gap, but this wasn’t the blowout of the century.

*Ron leans back in his chair, arms crossed.*

**RON SWANSON:** Tyler had Jackson as his sole 20+ point scorer, while Kyle had two—Kamara and Tyreek. Tyler had five players in double digits, whereas Kyle had six. In the realm of underperformers, Tyler had four in the 5 and under category, while Kyle managed to keep it to two. 

*Ron finishes his steak with a satisfied nod.*

**RON SWANSON:** That’s the breakdown. The game had its moments, but in the end, it’s a reminder that in the world of football, just like in life, you get what you put into it. And Kyle, evidently, put in more.

Award Season

MVP: Jayden Reed had the most points for the highest-scoring team in the closest-scoring game, so he walks away with the MVP of week 1

LVP: Rob for waiting to pick up a kicker, and letting Matt win because he got to Moody first.

Unluckiest Team of the Week: Brandon was the second-highest scorer of the week, but lost anyway.

Luckiest Team of the Week: Matt would have lost to 7 other teams this week, but luckily for him, he gets a bye in week 1 every year.  I might have to start rotating the conference game in the south to give Brandon and Trevor a bye week in week 1 some years.

Highest Scorer of the Week: Take a bow Dr. T-Rev and his sans CMC team

Lowest Scorer of the Week: It's Rob, Hi, he's the tanker, it's Rob. At week 1, everybody agrees. He'll stare at the lotto tickets on the bench but never at his starting roster, he's still chasing the high of finding Arian Foster.

King of the Court: Skyler won it from Brady in the championship last year, and has kept hold of it after battling Tommy. 

Other Shout Outs: Jordan should be at 97 career regular season wins, and Brady and Rob should be at 98. The race is on to be the second centurion in the league. Barring any major collapses, we should see all three hit 100 wins this year.

Game Previews

Skyler (2) vs Scott (11): Skyler has 2 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. Scott has 1 player on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. A contender for the blowout of the week.

Tommy (8) vs Brady (4): Tommy has 0 players on Thursday and 5 players in primetime. Brady has 1 player on Thursday and 2 players in primetime.  This has Monday Nightmare/Miracle and nail-biter of the night written all over it.

Brandon (7) vs Matt (6): Brandon has 2 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. Matt has 1 player on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. A contender for the nail-biter of the week.

Rob (12) vs Trevor (1): Rob has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. Trevor has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime.  The lead contender for the blowout of the week.

Tyler (9) vs TJ (10): Tyler has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. TJ has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime.  This is the front runner for the battle of ineptitude. A contender for the nail-biter of the week.

Jordan (5) vs Kyle (3): Jordan has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. Kyle has 2 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. If we add up everyone's seed/standing, this is easily the front-runner for the bonanza and a contender for the nail-biter of the week.

Good luck to everyone but Scott this week.