Welcome the Fantasy Big XII, where blowouts happen with frequency, every game looks like a bonanza, and the defenses don't matter. Let's play 'scenes from a hat'. The first scene is 'things you can say to your fantasy opponent but not to your wife'. I prefer we don't get canceled like Gruden so we'll cancel this game. Let's move on to 'Irish Drinking Song', we'll call down Skyler, Brandon, TJ, and Jordan for this game. Gentleman, give us a song, one line at a time, about your football weekend.
::In harmony:: Oh, idy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di
Skyler: My week was amazing
Brandon: I like former Oregon Ducks
TJ: Mondays are no longer terrible
Jordan: I was the only one to score under 100, so my team really sucks
Skyler: I scored two-twenty,
Brandon: AJ Brown was a tool
TJ: Hollywood should be this weeks MVP
Jordan: At least I made loads of money on FanDuel
::In less harmony:: Oh, idy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di
Brandon: I doubled my win count
TJ: I doubled mine too
Jordan: I'm still projected for the playoffs
Skyler: The south division is doo doo
Brandon: I have to play Chad next week
TJ: And I have a get right game
Jordan: I'm projected to lose to Rob
Skyler: Losing to Tyler will be lame
::In progressively worse harmony:: Oh, idy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di
TJ: We’re a third of a way through the season
Jordan: This year's going too fast
Skyler: We’ve had a few fun surprises
Brandon: Like how the defending champ's in last
TJ: We are starting with some bye weeks
Jordan: I need my team to get in a groove
Skyler: I'm still upset BYU lost
Brandon: I'm never going to tell you when or where I'm going to move
::In an exasperated tone of wanting this to end:: Oh, idy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di
Jordan: This is probably the worst blog yet
Skyler: This song has me feeling like a prisoner
Brandon: Whose idea was this anyway?
TJ: We need a new commissioner
Jordan: This last verse is off the rails
Skyler: But our song really slaps
Brandon: TJ, please end our misery
TJ: Finally to the game recaps!
::In Sweet relief:: Oh, idy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di; Oh, idy, didy, didy, didy, di-dy, di-dy, di
Game Recaps
Skyler vs Trevor: This was one of two games this week that crossed the 300 points combined threshold, but this one made it a little further and got to over 366 points, which officially makes it the bonanza. This was also the blowout of the week as Skyler won by about 75 points -- which is saying something given that Trevor dropped a season-high 145. Skyler's lowest scorer was his DST at 14 points. Over half of Skyler's team scored at least 20, with one of those guys being 3 passing yards away from 50 points. Trevor actually had a great week from Taylor Swift and Brown. That is why grammar matters people. Trevor had a good week from Taylor, Swift, and Brown, who combined for 85+ points, but ran into the wrong opponent this week. This week heavily skews the points allowed against Trevor, but those have literally never mattered as a tie-breaker in the history of the league.
Just to make it abundantly clear and to annoy Tyler, but also because he does deserve a shout out, his record of 'most points scored in a week' --which he set last year in the consolation, and didn't get any love in writing at the time which was probably wrong, but the blog historically ignores non-playoff games -- has been broken after only holding it for a few games. Tyler (217.04) took the record from Ren (217) by one passing yard, but Skyler (220.88) took it this week from an amazing performance from Lamar Jackson.
Brandon vs Tommy: Brandon came out dodging, ducking, dipping, diving, and dodging while also landing wrenches to the undefeated face of turbo. In the end, the undefeated pit stains who gives a pit ended up having no pits to give and gave up after having an incredible week last week. Brandon was able to get a much-needed victory behind Herbert, a bunch of average joe's, and a low-grade beaver tranquilizer. Tommy was basically let down by anyone not named Mahomes or Bills DST.
Jordan vs Chad: Chad's smack talk seemed to have scared Jordan as Chad won by 60. How did a league founding father without a championship go a lot farther this week? Was it from working a lot harder, by being a lot smarter, or by being a self starter? That's probably not how he beat Jordan -- though Chad may have throat punched him, it was a blur, sir. Hurts had a good game on the bench, but Chad's going to have to use him eventually, with Wilson hurt on the bench next week. King Henry showed Jordan no mercy, by scoring a game-high 31 points, with help from Evans and Pitts. Jordan tried to put up a fight, but only Hopkins showed up, with a measly 20 points. What comes next? Time will tell. The last time Chad was in first place, he claimed to be our benevolent ruler, I remember that he served us well.
TJ vs Brady: This was a 25 point win by TJ, and that was close enough to be the weekly nail-biter. As it happened on a Monday night, it was also the nail-biter of the night, and the Monday Night Miracle/Nightmare. TJ had some help from Zeke and Robert Woods who combined for 50 points, but even with the dark of Monday Night crashing in, TJ needed Marquise Brown to carry him -- even though half time had him broken on the ground, a victory was found. Brady was given some hope by 20+ point games from Dak and Sanders, but was let down by Scary Terry, who didn't realize he needed to be scary good all of October, and not just the first week of this scare field month. This was also the battle of ineptitude as it was the lowest-scoring game of the week, but this is only being awarded this week based on tradition since each game had a lot of points this week.
Tyler vs Rob: This was the other 300+ points combined game. Rob had a comfortable victory by scoring 189 points sans kicker. His team may have been without a kicker, but he kicked Tyler out of the undefeated club. Rob leads the league in scoring now, which is nice because there's no one else in his 'division' who looms quite as large in wins and points. Some have decent wins, some have decent points, but no one has both. Had Rob had the right kicker, we could have seen two teams score 200+ points this week -- given that we had only seen it 4 times before this week, that would have been cool. Rob got the easy win thanks to five members of the 20+ point club, three of whom were in the 30+ point club, and one of whom is either a vampire, necromancer, or possibly father time in the flesh, and scored 47.74 this week. 41 from Mark Andrews on MNF was enough to keep this from being the blowout of the week and to keep Tyler from being the lowest scorer, but that was about all it was good for.
Kyle vs Matt: The last matchup of the week saw a resurgent Hit Squad, who snuck into the 170 club in the last minute or two, put a beat down on Matt who suffered from poor play (Hooper), injuries (CEH), and poor coaching (starting an inactive cook). Kyle got to 170 this week with nearly 50 combined from his Browns RB’s, 25 from Sutton, and 42.5 from Josh Allen. Those 4 alone were enough to beat Matt, so the other team members' points were simply for pride and tie-breaking.
Award Season
MVP: This could have gone to Lamar Jackson for being the highest scoring player on the highest-scoring team in a record-breaking week, or to Justin Herbert for being the highest scorer this week, and being one of the few players to hit the 50 point threshold, but instead it will go to Marquise ‘Hollywood’ Brown with his 33.5 points on MNF in the weekly nail-biter game.
LVP: I DECLARE LVP FREE WEEK! There were no good candidates. I suppose if I gave out battle of ineptitude I should give out this too. Dalvin Cook, come on down. You wouldn’t have won your team the game, but whatever.
Unluckiest Team of the Week: Trevor was the highest-scoring loser and had 145 points. That was only good enough for 6th highest scorer, so he isn’t too unlucky, but 145 shouldn’t be worth so little compared to others.
Luckiest Team of the Week: TJ was the lowest scoring winner and had what may have been a career game from Hollywood, on Monday Night, where TJ usually has bad luck. So he gets the award this week for everything going right.
Game Previews
There will be no naming of every game. That is too much work to do every week.
Skyler (5) vs Tyler (2): Skyler has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. Tyler has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye. Rankings indicate this could be the weekly bonanza.
Kyle (8) vs Tommy (3): Kyle has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 2 players on bye. Tommy has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye.
Brandon (9) vs Chad (1): Brandon has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Chad has 4 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye.
Trevor (11) vs Brady (12): Trevor has 2 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 1 player on bye. Brady has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. This is the front runner for the battle of ineptitude.
Matt (7) vs TJ (10): Matt has 1 player on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. TJ has 1 player on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. He has 1 player on bye.
Rob (4) vs Jordan (6): Rob has 1 player on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. He has 0 players on bye. Jordan has 0 players on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. He has 2 players on bye.
I apologize for the delay in the blog, so hopefully this one has been worth it.
Good luck to everyone but Tyler this week.
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