This week saw 3 teams lose their first game of the season, and 3 teams win their first game of the season. Tommy and Tyler (the two undefeated teams) don't play each other until week 6, and Brady and Kyle (the two defeated teams) don't play until week 8. Odds are some of those streaks will be ended before then, but those are the hard cutoffs for those streaks to end. If I had to guess, Tommy definitely ends sooner than that as he is the 4th lowest-scoring team in the league, and Kyle runs the risk of staying defeated until then. He is the 2nd lowest-scoring team in the league, and he just lost to the lowest-scoring team in the league last week.
Game Recaps
Skyler vs Brady: In a battle of defeated teams, Skyler got the much-coveted victory. Helping him get the win was his leading scorer and Sunday night star, Davante Adams. Davante was recently acquired from B EZ and thrived in his revenge game. Had the trade not happened, it would have been a close game, which likely would have been lost or won on if Brady would have started Trey Sermon or Nyheim Hines as his RB2. Skyler's victory was made possible by season-high weeks from his starting RB's, Kirk's best game as a member of Dixie, and Skyler moving away from the Washington DST and moving over to Carolina. Brady was let down by recent free agent Evan Engram, and by season-low games from McLaurin and Lamb.
Tommy vs Chad: In a battle of undefeated teams, the Dark Knight took the night off and couldn't be bothered to score what we call 'triple digits'. Tommy has continued to have the league-leading defense and has only allowed 314 points over the season. If that were a team, it would be 2 passing yards worse than Kyle's team. Tommy's actual defense was ok, scoring double digits, but where he really made his money this week was with the MMM club (Mahomes, Moore, Metcalf) all getting 20+ points each. Tommy was so appreciative of Metcalf's efforts that he sent him straight to Hell. At least I assume that's what the BHers are since when anyone trades with Matt, it's referred to as 'a deal with the devil'. Chad was let down by a season-low Montgomery game, as well as Shepard getting hurt, a rookie TE not living up to the hype, and Leonard Fournette scoring fewer points than his new jersey number. He's #7 now in case you weren't sure.
Matt vs Trevor: In the battle between the two people who historically hate their jobs the most in this league, Matt continues to beat Trevor -- in hating how things are going. In case that wasn't clear, Matt lost to Trevor and is no longer undefeated, so he's probably hating how things are going. Rubbing salt in the wound (I'm sure that's sound medical advice) Matt was the highest-scoring loser this week. Dr. T-Rev brought the un-numbed pain with 20+ points from Tannehill, Swift, and Cooks. Meanwhile, Matt had season-high games from Stafford and Chase, but they weren't enough to counteract injuries to Dalvin (announced pregame) and CMC (injured after only scoring 6 points). Matt decided this kind of nonsense was ruining his team culture, and he promptly shipped CMC (and Henry Ruggs) to Tommy and got Metcalf and CEH back in the process. In the end, Tommy basically got an injured CMC and Ruggs for Dalvin. Not a terrible trade given it looks like a short injury for CMC and Tommy is a big Panthers fan.
Rob vs Brandon: This was the weekly bonanza as well as the beatdown of the week. That is code for Brandon had a solid week, but Rob had an amazing week. Rob had two 30+ point scorers (his 5th round and 9th round draft picks) and an additional three 20+ point scorers. In fact those 5 players were enough to beat Brandon by themselves. In the loss, Brandon had solid outings from Herbert (38.84) and the Browns DST (26). Not that it made much of a difference given his opponent, but Brandon was let down by an injured AJ Brown, and another disappointing outing from Amari Cooper.
TJ vs Kyle: This battle of defeated teams ended up being the battle of ineptitude, with the combined score being less than 200 points. But as the sage Dominic Toretto taught us "it doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning is winning", and after last night, TJ has joined the winning club, while Kyle remains defeated. TJ was able to pull of his Monday night miracle with a season-high game from Zeke and another 30+ point game from Kirk Cousins. Kyle's team finished with 95 points -- 45 of which came from Josh Allen. That tells you how great Allen is, an how poorly the rest of Kyle's team played this game. This was the nightly nail-biter and the nail-biter of the week as it was the closest matchup. It started with TJ being down 20 or so points and winning by 5. Kyle was able to keep it close with Goedert, but the lack of a touchdown for Goedert on the last drive sealed Kyle's fate and helped TJ escape with the win.
Jordan vs Tyler: In the second battle of undefeated teams, Tyler look off the kid gloves, took Jordan behind the shed, and sent a message to the rest of the West that he still runs the division by beating Jordan by a full Curtis Jackson, but it was still somehow not the beatdown of the week. When the lowest scorer on your team is Tyreek Hill, you know it's been a good week (or Tyreek has played poorly, but let's not focus on that). Barkley looked back and Kupp continued to light the world on fire with Stafford as QB. Tyler got to 159, but only had 3 players score 20+ points. One of them scored 30+, which obviously helps, but the rest of his team had really solid games and it showed us all what kind of weeks Tyler is capable of having.
Award Season
Tell your friends about Lucky #13
MVP: This is a split award this week between Captain Kirk and First Officer Zeke of the USS ManChestHair United. TJ won by 5 points, so if Kirk or Zeke get one TD fewer, TJ stays undefeated and Kyle gets his first win.
LVP: This goes to all of Hit Squad or should I say Shi...no, that's low hanging fruit. Ty'Son Williams, Chubb, Robby Anderson, and the Buccaneers all had their worst weeks of the season this week. I know that's a small sample size of 3 weeks, but still, if you can avoid having half of your line up have their worst week at once, that would be nice. No where to go but up right?...Right?
Unluckiest Team of the Week: Matt was the highest scoring loser, so I'll give it to him. That being said, he was the 6th highest scorer, so it's not like he was that unlucky.
Luckiest Team of the Week: TJ outscored 2 people this week, and he was lucky to play one of them.
Game Previews
Skyler (8) vs Brandon (9): Welcome to the IS bowl. Their rankings are just like their results in the core -- right around average at best. Skyler has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. Brandon has 0 players on Thursday and 1 players in primetime. Given that this is the closest matchup (based on rankings) this could be the nail-biter of the week.
Tommy (2) vs Trevor (7): Undefeated Tommy comes to town to take off the top ranked team not in the playoffs. Team has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. Team has 0 players on Thursday and 2 players in primetime. All 4 primetime games are Monday Night, so this could be the nightly nail-biter and the Monday night miracle/nightmare
Chad (4) vs TJ (10): Chad has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. TJ has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. One of Chad's Monday night players is his kicker. A Monday nightmare of a 50+ yard field goal to overcome a -4.5 deficit to give TJ the loss does sound possible given his history.
Brady (11) vs Jordan (6): Quick poll -- which of these two is Tyler's favorite possesion WR? Brady has 1 player on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. Jordan has 0 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime.
Tyler (1) vs Matt (5): Tyler has 1 player on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. Matt has 1 player on Thursday and 1 player in primetime. Right now this looks like the bonanza for the week. It's easily the best game based on combining the two rankings into one number
Rob (3) vs Kyle (12): The battle to be bequeathed 'Best Bolivian'. Rob has 0 players on Thursday and 3 players in primetime. Kyle has 1 players on Thursday and 0 players in primetime. This looks to be the weekly beat down has no one has this big of a disparity between rankings.
Good luck to everyone except Brandon. Brandon I want you to be exactly half of an eleven-pound black forest ham, a myopic chihuahua, and this crevice in my arm. Also, you can suck it.
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