https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even flopped
Then somebodies dropped
Very expectedly
Just a little change
He could possibly thrive
His team has started bad
The rest of the west is mad
Rob tanked week five
Ever just the same
Always a big pain
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the commissioner will complain
Oh
Oh
Mmm, oh-oh-oh
Ever just the same
Always a big pain
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the commissioner will complain
Oh, oh, oh
Tale as old as time (ooh-ooh)
Tune as old as song
Committed a fantasy sin
Giving Tyler an unearned win
Learning your assumptions were wrong
Certain as someone in the West
Certain as someone in the West
Missing the playoffs due to this crime
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Rob tanked week five
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Rob tanked week five
Oh, oh, oh
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Rob tanked week five
Game Recaps -- Speed Round
Skyler vs Trevor: Skyler lost by 85, and this still wasn't the blowout of the week. However, it was the battle of ineptitude despite Trevor's best efforts. Skyler lost multiple players to injury, and even more players to sucking, while Trevor finished as the 3rd highest scorer. Skyler had no one in the 20+ point range, while Trevor managed to get four people in the 20+ point organization.
Brandon vs Tommy: This also wasn't much of a game as Brandon lost by 77, but it was the bonanza as Brandon actually had a solid week, and Tommy broke 200. Brandon had three people in the 20+ point bunch, while Tommy had four people in the 20+ point squad. The big difference that got Tommy the win was he had a 50+ point player and two 30+ guys, while Brandon only had one guy score 30+.
Tyler vs Rob: Tyler only won because Rob had no faith and assumed his DST wouldn't outscore a low-level GB RB and Davante Adams. Maybe he genuinely believed he would lose, or maybe he didn't want to get his hopes up and then get them dashed, but he dropped the Packers, and it gave Tyler the 5-point win in the Monday Nightmare/Miracle and the weekly nail-biter. Tyler had two people in the 20+ point union, and Rob also had two players in the 20+ point club. The big difference was Rob dropping his DST, because Rob had more double-digit scorers than Tyler did.
TJ vs Brady: This ended up being the biggest blowout of the week as Brady won by nearly 132 points. A combination of 211 points from Brady and a season-low from TJ made this blowout possible. Brady led from start to finish in this blowout. TJ only had one member in the 20+ point kingdom and Brady had a 20+ point sextuplet on his team.
Jordan vs Scott: Jordan won by a lot and led the whole way, but it ended up being one of the better games given it was one of three games to be decided by 30 points or less -- instead of the 75+ points in the other three games. Jordan had three people in the 20+ point division, while Scott had two players in the 20+ point initiative. Fields dropping 40+ before getting hurt was the big difference-maker in this game.
Kyle vs Matt: This was the second-best game of the week as it had multiple lead changes, and the final score only had a difference of 21 points. Kyle got the win thanks to having two people in the 20+ point cohort, while Matt only had one player in the 20+ point kinship. I know that doesn't sound like the reason Kyle won, and it's probably not. The real reason Kyle won is because he had 7 people in double digits and Matt only had 6. Nope, that still doesn't sound like a good reason. What is impressive though is despite having those narrow advantages, he also had someone score him 0 points, and he still managed to win. Let's just chalk it up to Kyle wanting it more and working harder for it?
Award Season
MVP: I try not to give 2 of these out, but DJ Moore deserves to be here because he was the highest scorer on the highest scoring team, and did it on a Thursday night. I also want to give an MVP award to the 49ers DST for getting their highest score of the season in a game where Tyler narrowly won. Had the 49ers given up 3 more yards, they would have given up 3 more points, and maybe Rob starts a DST and wins his game.
LVP: Rob
Unluckiest Team of the Week: Brandon gets this award as he lost as the 6th highest scorer.
Luckiest Team of the Week: Tyler was the lowest scoring winner, and he was lucky to play a team who likes to tank.
Highest Scorer of the Week: Brady flirted with the all time single game record and put up 211.44. It is the highest score of the season and has earned him a temporary spot in the history books (5th highest score listed -- though it's possible it's not the 5th highest score of all time). Will anyone be able to dethrone him in 2023?
Lowest Scorer of the Week: Skyler had a lot of injuries and some terrible healthy performances as well and couldn't even break 60 points. Let's hope that this is the last of the injury bug and that it doesn't come back to bite us as soon as week 6.
King of the Court: Tyler retains his crown for a week and looks to defend it against Skyler next week.
Golf Week Review
Kyle easily keeps his green jacket as he was the top player 6 of the 7 days
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